she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
pop tarts are not kleenex
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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