He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize