why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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