I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
