return my video game
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
