Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
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Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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