apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize