Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
