i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Houston, we have a blender
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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