the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize