College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
