I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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