Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
