Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
my poor anus
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
