And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
