thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
