What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
