discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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