Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
