He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
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The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
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I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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