An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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