You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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