dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
