When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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