If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
