tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
