Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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