office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
