Apparently you make a good broom.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
