upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
