it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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