arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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