And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
thus making me awesome and them whores
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
