she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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