K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
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