i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
