my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
