He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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