a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and she was petting her beer can
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
