if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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