In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
