a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
