I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
