the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
