It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
