Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
