just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
