He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
