I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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