umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
