Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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