I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
