Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
