My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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