i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's rum buckets o'clock
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