In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
