both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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