that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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