A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
