she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
