Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize