Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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