I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Randomize
