Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
