I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
