If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize