How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
