We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
