he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
