He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just found a bag of teeth...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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