So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
