does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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