i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
